Today as I sit in my suite in Le Meridien,Thimpu,Bhutan,looking at the clouds and the mountains playing outside,I start my process of decoding BDG.
I dont even remember when it all happenned,how it happenned.My huge energy to make a difference in whatever I do,a trifle better,became
systemic within me.I started doing this, in everything I did in life,work,home,social,and it became Me.It is somewhere here,I think,work
results started showing and in the eyes of everyone else,and who were around,they felt that energy in me,and started responding in any
which way they could.This is where,referring to me as BDG started.And today, when I start thinking about it,I shudder to think,
can I get the Bikram back in me.Its been many years of professional experiences,achievements, failures,reactions,responses,
with anger,not wanting to lose ever,but looking at his people with compassion,at the end of the hard days work,taking personal
interest in them,caring for them,and sharing his experiences and value with them,while admonishing them for mistakes,
and being disappointed with failures, perhaps partially summarises BDG over the last 29 years.Maybe it does.Maybe it doesn't.
Others are better judges,about him.
Who was Bikram? Very few people know him.If I say,he was an innocent,naive,shy,highly positive,less exposed person in life
wanting to enjoy,do theatre,recite,organise Events,organise Functions,take/carry people along,but very very simple,and naive.
Would the BDG acquaintances believe that? Maybe not.
Bikram enjoyed the Hills, love to travel, be with people,and was an organisor of social events.He failed miserably,when others
had different ideas,and had motives,as he thought.He didnt know, whether he will express himself, or withdraw.It was always
a Hobson choice for him.But he was surely fun loving.
This Bikram became BDG.
Now he wants to get back his Bikram hood.Is it possible,he keeps asking?One option is,if he gets out of the life,of all people
who call him BDG,and develops his life,around people who call him Bikram(Da), and then only be with more and more of such
people,as he goes along.So, BDG reduces,and Bikram increases.
Possible? Practical ? Is that what he wants ?
The next 5 days in Bhutan,will perhaps help him to find that.